running bad but optimistic of things to come...

First off I want to get the negatives out the way. I am reallly running worse than I ever have. Now I wouldnt say am any were close to being at the standard I want to be at because I want to be the best lol but I have played enough of this game to know I am good enough to earn money in the long run. I started blaming online poker lol, but obvs this cant be the case, can it?? is thetr something funny about it? strange? personally I think to much money goes through it for it to be rigged so I am not in the 'online is rigged brigade' its just playing with major donks at micro levels and seeing so many hands imo.

So tonight I go down to my local poker league ran by www.pokerresults.co.uk for the start of the new league, £20 FO with an average of 30 runners of 4 different venues Mon-Thu with a biggish prize money final at the end of the league to, its ran well and we have a good crack plus its a change from the online game. Anyway played a couple of small pots in the first half an hour then with 5k stack at 75/150 an utg tight raiser to 450, now his range hear is JJ-AA, AK AQ, so one caller an comes to be on the button with 89cc so with a busting hand, position and pot odds I call knowing if I flop big I am taking the lot , any way flop comes a beautiful Kx6c7c and I am licking me lips, he bets the pot an the second caller reraises effectively putting me all in, now I know am behind at this point, I cant see no fold button on my screen an make the shove with 5 million outs, now I obv brick the lot and his AA takes it, 2nd raiser on the flop folded btw lol with 1.5k left, i mean come one. So point is on the way home I realised its not online pokers fault and I am simply running bad, that flop was live rigged and it fucked me right off lol

Soon as i got home I fired 4 6man turbos on pokerstars, an seriously in 100 hands and about 20 mins of poker watch wtf happens here. Its so funny an i was actually laughin in the end. These hands sum up my first month of this blog, which btw is fucking jinxin me to I reckon lol

AK>AT - http://www.pokerhand.org/?4501239

NF-Str8 flush - http://www.pokerhand.org/?4501252

AA>88 The early pre flop raiser was effectively all in anyway i flatted trying to induce a shove from behind which works alot in these SNG's - http://www.pokerhand.org/?4501243

however every now an then I do catch a fish, This was beautiful as on the turn when the chips went it, I felt sick as I knew his flush was coming but didnt know it would give me quads tho - http://www.pokerhand.org/?4501243

This hand made me sick in the $22/5k today, this is why I logged off and went playing live, wtf he thought i was UTG raising with this early I will never know. I kinda had a feelin JT after his second turn call an in hindsight I think I should of raised big on the blank turn anyway, but i was trying to get max value but he had postion and his monster double gutter - http://www.pokerhand.org/?4501576


Now i will just leave these, i was gonna post more but I really dont want to be negative. The lower limits on stars is full of people who havent gotta clue which will make it easier in the long run. Now since I started this blog the $20 deposit which peaked at $700 is now sat at $250 lol, Alot of this is tily sesions on cash, which I am not rolled or educated enough to be playing. I have also took some shots at MTT's I am not rolled for an busted the lot except a min cash in $109 FO on stars.

Now on to the positives. I have analysed alot of my play through holdem manager. Now alot of the things I have done have been correct but there are still alot of leaks. Now the biggest stat that stands out for me is AKo is -EV at early and mid levels of these SNG's and that I am busting ealry with premium hands like QQ-AA because you cant raise enough pre to get rid of them an when running bad you know your in trouble holding AA on a table full of donks. Do I fold it early if am running bad/unlucky?? would this be deemd +EV in the long run??? I dont know. Things are going to change over the next couple of months. I have had a real good proposal which involves money for coaching, and playing the higher end of medium stakes SNG's, excersing a strict 100 buy in BRM, whilst not risking a penny of my own money. Now if this happens it could be the start of something good. I have played thousands of SNG's and whilst maybe only breaking even/losing, its not a huge amount and what I have learned in that period is invaluable. So now is time to stop pressuring myself an grinding small stakes sit an go's hours a day after working all day, on a break even scale. Its time to take a lil break read some more books, more analyses of poker tracker, but most importantly get some really good coaching and pay good money for it, lettin some one paper over the cracks that I must have but cant really see. I really do believe I am a few good coaching sessions away from becoming a winning player. I am disciplined and can stick to what I am taught, especially were good money is involved. So when the money comes from the offer, I will be looking for the best coaching deal out there also any advice on were to go would be nice. I will watch some cardrunner vids which again I have never done, but I want real live coaching.

My main problem is I am not really around people passionate enough about the game, but more importantly knowlegable enough with proven reuslts to back their theorys up. I only learned the game 2 years ago from scratch and none of my friends are passionate about it, they see it as fun LOL to that!

I didnt think I would stick to this blog but I enjoy it an it helps gettin shit off your chest to a different an random audience than those normally around you and I intend to stick to it.

GL and thanks for reading